Addictions Unveiled

I am a self-proclaimed reading junkie. I inhale books the way a coke fiend would snort lines. I visit the nearest branch of our city's library system at least once or twice a month. If I've got a lot going on, I'll walk out with two or three books. If I've got time on my hands, I'll borrow at least five. This evening I walked out with four books, despite the fact that I've got two at home I'm in the midst of reading.

My reading material says volumes (pardon the pun) about my mental state. Book One that I'm reading is The Killer's Wife by Bill Floyd. This wonderful novel details the struggle of a woman whose ex-husband (and the father of her child) is a psychotic serial killer. Despite her best efforts to move on with her life, the past catches up with her, in the form of another round of murders eeriely similar to those of her former husband, currently on death row. My major in college was Psychology, and my thesis was about the psychological similarities among serial killers. It's almost terrifying to realize how much these men (because they are predominately white males) seem to have in common.

The other book I'm reading is Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. I can only describe this book as elegiac. The narration alternates between a teenage girl who committed suicide, and boy who received cassette tapes from her in the mail, after her death, telling the stories of thirteen people who contributed in some way to her decision to end her life. This story touches the rawest emotions of anyone who has felt as if there was no reason to continue to live. How even the smallest act of cruelty can snowball into feelings of utter worthlessness. I've struggled with major depression for nearly 20 years. Medication can help take the edge off, but the pain never really goes away. It's a daily struggle that sometimes feels pointless.

My selections today run the gamut of chick-lit (Chasing Harry Winston by Lauren Weisberger) to suspense/romance (the wonderful Nora Roberts). In between new finds, I'll find comfort in my favorites... the sardonic Jen Lancaster (her humor will get me through), the masterful CS Lewis (when I need an appropriate allegory), the inspiring Robin McKinley (who created the most touching heroines for a teenage girl). Most certainly I will polish off this batch within the next two weeks, and will have to sneak back to my dealer for another fix.

If you are curious to see what else my twisted mind would like to feast upon, feel free to visit www.goodreads.com and become a friend of mine.